Lashon Hara: “Say It Ain’t So, Joe”

An avid Mets fan used to love to talk about the Mets at every opportunity. Back in 1997, they had a pitcher named Barry Manuel.

In his spring training debut for the Mets, Manuel faced three batters and walked them all; two of his pitches that day were strikes. In his first-ever official game for the Mets, he gave up three runs, four hits, and one walk, while recording four outs (that tallies to an ERA of 20.25).

So this frustrated Mets fan posted an online message to a group of Mets fans with the title, “Barry, read the ‘stupid’ manual.” He received a personal message back from the Manuel family, asking him how he could be so mean. (The sender’s identity was confirmed, but that’s a story for a different day.) The lesson that this friend took from this episode is that one never knows who will end up hearing his hurtful words. Of course, online words travel with lightning speed, but even spoken words can travel, as is evident from our Gemara.

The third perek in Bava Basra deals with establishing ownership of a property. After three years of tranquilly working a field, the occupant is deemed to be the owner unless proof can be brought to the contrary. However, during those three years, one can interfere with the establishment of presumed ownership by making a public protest that the occupant is not the true owner of the land. We assume that the occupant of the land will hear about the protest, because news spreads. If, in fact, he is the rightful owner, he will be careful to preserve any documents that illustrate that he is safe at home. And if the original owner allowed three years to lapse before protesting, he has struck out.

The Gemara discusses the following query: For such a protest to be valid, how many people must be present – two or three? (We need an exact number, not a ballpark figure.) If the requisite witnesses were not there, then the protester has dropped the ball.

The Gemara attempts to equate this dilemma with the following halacha (39b): Rabba bar Rav Huna says, “Anything that is said in front of three people is not considered lashon hara.” To pitch one explanation, one is permitted to speak lashon hara if at least three people are present to hear it. At first glance, Tosfos seems to subscribe to this interpretation. However, the Chofetz Chaim notes in his groundbreaking Sefer Chofetz Chaim that this understanding of the Gemara is way off base. It is virtually bush league.

How can it possibly be that one would be permitted to speak lashon hara if many people are listening? One causes the victim of his negative speech to suffer much more by publicizing it. Even if one would argue that speaking lashon hara in public is tantamount to speaking lashon hara to the victim’s face, that wouldn’t solve anything. Speaking lashon hara in front of the victim is worse, as it incurs an additional lav of ona’as devarim!

The Chofetz Chaim thought that the above p’shat was so absurd as to not even merit discussion. Yet, he methodically refutes it, because he didn’t want to let the matter slide.

Among his proofs:

The classic case of motzi sheim ra (Kesubos 11a) is where a husband fabricates a story about his wife in front of a beis din of at least three people. Obviously, we see from here that saying something even to three people can still be considered lashon hara. If you balk at that proof, here are two more.

The Sifri discusses the lesson we can learn from Miriam (who witnessed the daughter of Pharaoh make a basket catch). It states, “If Miriam, who spoke lashon hara privately, was punished, then someone who speaks lashon hara publicly will most certainly receive a fitting punishment.”

If that was not enough to establish the baseline for lashon hara, here is yet another proof. The Gemara in Arachin (16a) says that the ketores atones (together with repentance) for those who spoke lashon hara privately. For lashon hara b’farhesia (publicly), the ketores is not sufficient. The Gemara in Sanhedrin says that b’farhesia refers to ten people. So it is evident that lashon hara is forbidden even when spoken to more than three people.

Three proofs, and you’re out! This foul p’shat in Tosfos doesn’t even get to first base.

So what, in fact, is the correct p’shat in Tosfos in Bava Basra? Tosfos in Arachin comes through in the clutch. Tosfos there states that if someone wants to say a statement that can possibly be misinterpreted, he can say it in front of three people. We can assume that since the speaker knows that his words will get back to the person he is speaking about, he will be careful to say it in a positive way. Likewise, the listeners will interpret the words positively.

The example offered is “the oven in their house is always on.” This can either mean that the family eats excessively or has too many parties, or it can mean that they are always doing the mitzvah of hachnasas orchim by entertaining guests. Saying that “the oven in their house is always on” will certainly be interpreted favorably when spoken in front of three people. But actual lashon hara would certainly be forbidden, regardless of how many listeners there are.

The Chofetz Chaim repeats numerous times throughout his seforim that those who are meticulous in shemiras ha’lashon will merit extra innings.