Baby Blues

Rebbe Simlai (Niddah 30b) says that a fetus learns the entire Torah while in its mother’s womb. When the child is born, an angel hits the child on its mouth and it forgets everything. Many commentators are puzzled by this passage. What is the purpose of teaching the baby Torah only to have it forgotten?

The Vilna Gaon suggests that Torah by nature is holy, profound, and otherworldly. A fresh mind that was not prepared for Torah would never be capable of understanding it completely. That individual could never plumb the depths of Torah knowledge. Hashem prepares our minds in the womb to enable us to comprehend the secrets of Torah.

Others explain that the child forgets the Torah to create a vacuum. When the baby is born it will have a thirst for Torah knowledge. This gives the child an inner drive to learn Torah to help him combat his evil inclination that fights so hard against Torah study. The Gemara in Megillah says that if a person states, “I exerted and found [Torah],” believe him. The point of the Gemara is that mastery of Torah is acquired through much effort. It is not possible to truly understand Torah with superficial application. The child needs the added boost of the feeling that something is missing to give him the impetus to master Torah.

It is interesting to note the choice of words used in the passage. The Gemara states, “I exerted and found,” not “I exerted and acquired.” Found implies something one had before. What if the individual learned a segment of Torah that he never learned before? He didn’t find it. Rather, he acquired it! This fits well with our Gemara in Niddah. The baby learned the entire Torah in the womb. As an individual, he is now finding what he lost.

The Maharshal suggests that this is the reason for a shalom zachor. The infant had the whole Torah but it was taken from him. We visit the new baby to comfort him on his loss. The Derisha says that this may also be a hidden reason behind why the b’ris is performed on the eighth day. The Torah wants us to wait after seven days of mourning are completed for the loss of the baby’s Torah. Further, this explains the custom of serving lentils or chickpeas at a shalom zachor, because they are a food for mourners.

Following these ideas, Rav Yaakov Emden suggests that the term zachor in shalom zachor actually refers to remembering, and not to a male child, as is commonly assumed. The idea behind the shalom zachor is that we want the baby to start remembering Torah concepts that he forgot. Resting on Shabbos and the divrei Torah at the shalom zachor will begin this process of reminding the baby of the Torah that he lost.

Shabbos is an apropos time for remembering Torah, as we fulfill the mitzvah of “zachor” by reciting Kiddush. Rav Yaakov Emden suggests that perhaps the reason that a shalom zachor is made only for a boy is that only boys are taught the entire Torah in the womb. A man has a mitzvah to learn Torah 24/7. He needs the vacuum to enable him to accomplish this feat. A woman is not commanded to learn Torah constantly, so she doesn’t need this extra push. Alternatively, he suggests that one seudah is made per couple. The shalom zachor is for the boy as well as for his eventual soul mate.

Tosefos suggests that the reason behind a shalom zachor is to thank Hashem that the mother and baby survived childbirth. This reason would seem to necessitate the making of a shalom zachor for a girl as well. Indeed some suggest that this is the reason behind making a Kiddush for the birth of a girl. For a boy it is proper to express one’s hakaros ha’tov to Hashem before the b’ris. (There are various reasons for this.) So the shalom zachor customarily takes place the Friday night after the baby is born. For a girl, there is no such time constraint, and people make the Kiddush whenever they get around to it.

An interesting point of discussion is the appropriateness of a shalom zachor when either the baby or father is not present. If we are comforting the child for his loss of Torah, then it would seem the baby would have to be present. If the father is thanking Hashem that his wife and child survived, it would seem that at the very least he should be present. However, there are various other reasons offered by the commentators for the shalom zachor. Perhaps they would apply even when the father and baby are not present.