Rabbi Yaakov Ettinger and the Borrowed Tie
As a bochur, Rabbi Yaakov Ettinger let a friend wear his best tie every Shabbos for six months without saying a word: a lesson in self-control.
Rabbi Yaakov Ettinger, the Rosh HaYeshiva of Zichron Paltiel of Passaic, had a remarkable story told about him at his sheva brachos.
The speaker related that he had been a bochur who, at one point, found himself without a tie for Shabbos. In desperation, he approached his friend Yaakov and asked if he could borrow one. Yaakov graciously agreed.
The bochur went up to the dorm room and, with the keen eye of a seasoned shopper, selected the nicest and most expensive tie in the drawer.
Yaakov said nothing.
The following Shabbos, the same tie made another appearance. And the next Shabbos. And the next. This continued for six months. By then, had Yaakov himself worn the tie, it would have looked as though he were the one borrowing it!
Still, he never said a word.
Rabbi Ettinger later told this author that remaining silent during that episode was a moment of growth and self-control. Sometimes, the greatest accomplishment is not what you say but what you choose not to say.