Rabbi Yaakov Ettinger, the Rosh HaYeshiva of Zichron Paltiel of Passaic, had a remarkable story told about him at his sheva brachos.
The speaker related that he had been a bochur who, at one point, found himself without a tie for Shabbos. In desperation, he approached his friend Yaakov and asked if he could borrow one. Yaakov graciously agreed.
The bochur went up to the dorm room and, with the keen eye of a seasoned shopper, selected the nicest and most expensive tie in the drawer.
Yaakov said nothing.
The following Shabbos, the same tie made another appearance. And the next Shabbos. And the next. This continued for six months. By then, had Yaakov himself worn the tie, it would have looked as though he were the one borrowing it!
Still, he never said a word.
Rabbi Ettinger later told this author that remaining silent during that episode was a moment of growth and self-control. Sometimes, the greatest accomplishment is not what you say but what you choose not to say.
That subtle shift—when an item sits in someone’s possession long enough that it starts to look like his—doesn’t just test middos. It carries halachic ramifications.
Borrowed Tzitzis and the Thirty-Day Threshold
Suppose someone borrows a four-cornered garment from his friend. There is no Torah obligation to affix tzitzis. The mitzvah applies only to one’s own garment.
For a wedding, someone bought four-cornered Mexican ponchos as shtick. When a spectator saw the young men dancing in the ponchos, he pointed out that they needed tzitzis. The dancers’ quick reply was, “We borrowed them from the owner, so there’s no obligation.”
Eventually, the owner affixed tzitzis to them anyway.
Practically speaking, if one borrows a pair of tzitzis and has no ownership stake in them, he does not recite a bracha. However, one may employ the halachic mechanism of matanah al menas l’hachzir—a gift on condition that it be returned—and then recite a blessing.
Interestingly, the Rosh maintains that someone who recites a bracha on a borrowed pair of tzitzis lo hifsid, he has not lost out. Although a borrowed four-cornered garment is technically exempt, one still fulfills a mitzvah if he affixes tzitzis. Nevertheless, this opinion is not accepted as halacha.
The Gemara (Menachos 44a) teaches that once someone borrows a four-cornered garment for thirty days or more, he becomes obligated to affix tzitzis. For the first thirty days, people view it as borrowed. After thirty days, ownership becomes blurred in the public eye. If he continues wearing it without tzitzis, people will wonder: Why isn’t he affixing tzitzis to his garment?
Perception creates obligation.
Mezuzah: The Renter’s Thirty Days
The Gemara cites proof of this concept from a mezuzah on a rented home.
Tosafos suggests that, biblically, one is obligated to affix a mezuzah only to a house one owns. Accordingly, a renter should never have to affix a mezuzah. However, after thirty days, he appears to others as the owner. Therefore, Chazal obligated him to put up a mezuzah.
Tosafos offers another interpretation. In truth, a renter is biblically included in the mitzvah of mezuzah. However, living somewhere for less than thirty days is considered diras arai, a temporary dwelling, and is exempt. Only after thirty days does it assume permanence.
Most poskim rule that the first opinion is authoritative.
The halacha is clear that when one purchases a home, he must affix mezuzos immediately. There is no thirty-day grace period. That applies only to renters.
What if a renter signs a one-year lease? May he affix mezuzos immediately?
It would seem to depend on Tosafos’ two approaches. If the issue is diras arai, here he has committed to a full year. He cannot break the lease without consequences. That sounds permanent; he should be obligated right away.
But if the issue is appearance, when does he look like an owner? On day one, he still looks like a renter. Since, l’halacha, the first opinion is accepted, it would follow that he is not obligated until after thirty days.
This is the conclusion of the Pischei Teshuvah (Yoreh Deah 286:18).
However, the Aruch HaShulchan disagrees and rules that when a renter signs a one-year lease, he should affix the mezuzos immediately.
Practically speaking, Rav Moshe Feinstein (Igros Moshe, Yoreh Deah 1:179) writes that a renter who signs a lease for longer than thirty days should affix the mezuzah immediately upon moving in and may even recite a bracha then. Nevertheless, Rav Moshe adds that it is preferable to wait until thirty days have passed before reciting the bracha.
Tevilas Keilim: When Borrowed Starts to Look Owned
A third halacha built on this same foundation appears in Hilchos Tevilas Keilim.
When one purchases or acquires a metal or glass food utensil from a gentile, he must toivel it in a mikveh. Yet one is permitted to borrow a utensil from a gentile and use it without tevilah.
For this reason, in some catering halls, kosher caterers borrow clean glassware from the gentile owner and use it for cold drinks without tevilah.
This halacha can be very useful in a case of need. If one has a utensil that requires tevilah but needs to use it immediately and cannot toivel it, he may give it to a gentile and borrow it back.
However, the Mishnah Berurah cautions that this workaround works only for thirty days. After thirty days in the Jew’s possession, the utensil appears to be his and now requires tevilah rabbinically.
Some rely on this method for items that cannot be toiveled. For example, many Keurig machines would break if immersed. HaRav Moshe Heinemann, shlita, ruled that since they cannot be toiveled, one may use them without tevilah. However, this ruling is highly controversial.
Some transfer ownership of their Keurig to a non-Jew and borrow it back. Even if it remains in their possession indefinitely, the obligation to toivel it would be only rabbinic. And for rabbinic obligations, some rely on Rav Heinemann’s reasoning.
A tie for Shabbos. A poncho at a wedding. A rented apartment. A borrowed utensil.
Sometimes, what begins as “just borrowed” slowly begins to look like it’s yours. And after thirty days, halacha may agree.
Maggid shiur and Rebbe at Yeshiva Ateres Shimon in Far Rockaway. He leads the Daf Yomi chaburah at Eitz Chayim of Dogwood Park in West Hempstead, and writes “Delving into the Daf” each week for The Jewish Home.
