The Friday Night Food Fight

There are no courses offered for a father on how to cut the lechem mishneh on Shabbos. A father has a few moments to cut through and distribute the challah before he has a rebellion on his hands. What could be so difficult about cutting challah? How about a chorus of “I want a bigger piece!”? Other times it’s “That piece is much too thick! I want to make a sandwich!” “I want to dip my piece in salt myself!” “Why is my piece of challah falling apart?” “You know I don’t like well-done pieces!” “Why is my piece so thin?” “This piece is too doughy.” “You forgot to dip my piece in salt!” “I wanted the end piece!” “This piece is burnt on the bottom!” For those health conscious: “I hate whole wheat!”
You can understand why a father might be a little frazzled by the seemingly simple challah cutting ceremony. It would be a nice trick if Pop could merely intone the words “open sesame” and all the pieces would be miraculously cut correctly.
After the father tries his best to cut the challah, he must distribute the pieces rapidly before the natives grow too restless. Those who are waiting patiently for their piece of challah are not allowed to talk, hum, walk around, or otherwise engage in any activity until they at least swallow a morsel. We have written earlier that the poskim advise against placing a piece of challah directly into another individual’s hand, unless the recipient is a mourner. You could place all the pieces in a plate or tray and pass it around the table.