Bechoros 55: The Out-Of-Town Bonus

My first lesson in how people are wary of shadchanim came when I spoke to my uncle about a prospective shidduch for his daughter. I described the bachur as being five-foot-six. My uncle straightforwardly asked, “Is that with the hat or without the hat?” Taken aback, I replied, “Without the hat, but standing on a stool.” All kidding aside, shadchanim may expend considerable time and energy in making a shidduch. They deserve and are halachically entitled to payment for their services. This payment is commonly referred to as “shadchanus.” How much money do shadchanim deserve? This is a relevant question brought to light especially recently by the Nasi project, which offers fixed shadchanus rates. For a historical perspective, I thought it would be interesting to see what the rates were way back when. The Tiferes Yisrael writes that in his town in Poland the custom was to pay one percent of the dowry to the shadchan. However, for the first 100 marks of the dowry, the shadchan was paid two percent. Then the shadchan was paid half of one percent of the value of any sefarim and jewelry given to the new couple. If the chassan and kallah were from two different distant cities, the shadchan’s fee was doubled. The Chasam Sofer reportedly ruled that the shadchan should receive three percent of the dowry. If the shadchan was from a distant city, then his payment should be raised to four percent. Rav Shlomo Kluger (1783–1869) said that in his town in Poland the custom was that the parents of the chassan paid two percent of the dowry to the shadchan. The parents of the kallah paid one percent. If the shadchan was from a distant city, he was paid an extra half-percent even if he did not incur any extra expenses. This distance bonus was limited to the first 600 gold coins of the dowry. Rabbi Sholom Mordechai Schwadron (1835–1911) said that in his city of Berezhany, the custom was to give the shadchan two and a half percent of the dowry. If the chassan and kallah were from distant cities, the fee was doubled to five percent. These fees all raise the question of what is considered a distant city. Rabbi Schwadron suggests that a city that is located 25 miles away is considered distant. If traveling by foot, it was a one-day journey. Obviously, nowadays that would no longer be considered distant. He also surmises that if there is a river between two cities, they would be considered distant even if they were located within 25 miles of each other. Since travel between the two cities carries the extra expense and risk of water travel, they should be considered distant. However, if there is a bridge that traverses the river, the cities would not be considered distant. He brings a proof from a halachah that daf yomi learners studied this week. In the times of the Beis HaMikdash, if one had a flock of domesticated animals, one of every ten of his animals born that year would be offered as a korban. This is called ma’aser beheimah. If only nine animals were born in any given year, he would not designate any animal as ma’aser beheimah. The year for ma’aser beheimah is from Rosh Chodesh Elul until the next Rosh Chodesh Elul. If an individual owned two flocks of domesticated animals in two distant cities, each flock individually would need to have ten newborn animals to obligate their owner to designate ma’aser beheimah. Two flocks do not combine for the requisite minimum of ten newborn animals if they are approximately ten miles away from each other. Rabbi Meir rules that if the two flocks are separated by the Jordan River, they count as two distinct flocks even if they are within ten miles of each other. Rebbe Ami understands Rabbi Meir’s position to be that if there was a bridge over the river, the animals would in fact be considered one flock. Rabbi Sholom Mordechai Schwadron explains that even though the Gemara ultimately rejects Rebbe Ami’s understanding, his reasoning was still correct. It just wasn’t applicable to ma’aser beheimah. So in terms of shadchanus, having a river between cities is a factor only if it increases travel time. Otherwise, the 25-mile rule would apply. The Belzer Rebbe, zt’l, remarked that shadchanus money is the most kosher form of income. The Maharal of Prague would use money he received from shadchanus to purchase his lulav and esrog. There is a requirement that on the first day of Sukkos the lulav must be yours and not borrowed. The Maharal felt that the best way to fulfill the requirement of complete ownership is by purchasing his arba minim with funds that are from the most kosher form of income.

The Out-Of-Town Bonus

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Rabbi Avrohom Sebrow